Having a custody order in place doesn’t mean co-parenting will always run smoothly.
For some families, the challenges are primarily logistical, like figuring out conflicting schedules or how to reconcile different approaches to parenting as your children grow.
For others, the situation can look more complex. Communication might have broken down during a difficult separation, or there may be a history of domestic violence that requires careful safety protocols. Some parents find themselves filing motion after motion to resolve routine parenting issues, while others struggle with a co-parent who consistently undermines agreements.
When conflict, whatever its source, starts affecting your children or requires repeated court intervention, a Parenting Coordinator can be a helpful resource.
Understanding the parenting coordination process in New Jersey
The job of a Parenting Coordinator is to work with parents to implement custody orders when recurring conflict makes daily coordination difficult.
Using a Parenting Coordinator generally happens in one of three ways:
- Parents can mutually request a coordinator and ask the court to approve the arrangement
- One parent can file a motion requesting appointment (even if the other parent objects)
- The court may also suggest coordination during custody proceedings
Ultimately, though, the court decides whether an appointment would serve the family’s needs.
The court maintains a roster of trained professionals, including attorneys, mediators, and mental health practitioners, who’ve completed specific training. You’ll typically have the opportunity to briefly meet with potential coordinators before the appointment to understand their approach and communication style. The court orders how fees will be split, though either parent can request reallocation based on financial circumstances.
Unlike mediation (which is confidential), coordination isn’t private. Coordinators can communicate with the court and testify if needed. They stay involved over time, make recommendations, and help implement solutions.
A Parenting Coordinator can only be appointed once you have a custody order (whether temporary or final) and a parenting plan in place. They’re not there to decide custody or create your schedule. That’s already done. Their job is to help with the logistics involved in it and to find appropriate paths to resolution when necessary.
Common issues Parenting Coordinators help resolve
Trying to figure out if a coordinator makes sense for your family? Looking at what they actually handle can help you determine whether this resource fits your needs.
| Resolve scheduling disputes | Coordinators help you navigate conflicts and make decisions that keep your schedule running smoothly. Conflicts can range from daily pickup times to how vacations are handled. |
| Improve communication processes | Parenting Coordinators create processes for how you share information about school, medical appointments, and activities. In situations where these decisions have been mapped out in an MSA, they can help smooth out the fine print or adjust logistics. |
| Clarify ambiguous plan language | Terms like “reasonable notice” or “mutual agreement” can create conflict because you interpret them differently. Coordinators help define these phrases and implement, concrete protocols that both parents understand in the same way. |
| Make decisions about day-to-day parenting issues | They help resolve disagreements about extracurricular enrollment, transportation responsibilities, routine consistency across households, and practical parenting details. |
| Identify when additional help is needed | They can refer you to evaluators, therapists, or other professionals when they see patterns that require specialized intervention. |
Coordination is generally more effective when it’s implemented before conflict patterns become deeply entrenched. New Jersey’s initial pilot programs showed coordinators appointed too late had difficulty shifting entrenched dynamics.
What a Parenting Coordinator cannot do
A Parenting Coordinator can address a wide range of co-parenting challenges, but there are limits to what they can do. Knowing where those limits are is important in setting realistic expectations.
Your Parenting Coordinator can’t:
- Modify custody: Changing legal custody or parenting time splits requires court action or consent between the parties.
- Handle finances: Implement or modify child support or either party’s percentage obligation to other expenses, but they can help determine what activities and expenses are part of your agreements, and whether the activities should be modified. They can also help determine how to allocate payment within the percentages outlined in the MSA if there is a dispute or an allegation that consent wasn’t given. They can also work on protocols for communication and decision-making..
- Address issues not related to custody: A coordinator isn’t your attorney, and can’t address financial matters like equitable distribution or serve as an advocate for your children.
How a Parenting Coordinator works with attorneys and the court
A Parenting Coordinator doesn’t replace the other professionals involved in your case. Instead, they work alongside them. Understanding these relationships helps you know what to expect.
How a Parenting Coordinator works with the court
The coordinator operates under a court order specifying what they can address. The court retains full authority over your case; appointing a coordinator doesn’t limit your ability to file motions or raise concerns with the judge.
Unlike mediators, coordinators can communicate with the court and testify if ordered to do so. This isn’t confidential work; it’s transparent to all parties involved.
How a Parenting Coordinator works with your attorney
Your attorney and the coordinator communicate directly when needed. Since coordination isn’t confidential, your attorney can contact the coordinator about issues affecting your case, and the coordinator can reach out to your attorney for context or clarification. This communication helps ensure everyone is working from the same information.
The division of responsibilities typically looks like this:
- Your attorney handles legal strategy, court filings, modifications, and protects your legal rights.
- The coordinator focuses on day-to-day implementation, resolving disputes over schedules, activities, and communication without court intervention.
Parents may find their legal costs decrease because they’re not paying attorneys to litigate every scheduling conflict. The coordinator handles logistics that used to require legal motions, while your attorney stays involved for issues that genuinely require court action.
How a Parenting Coordinator works with you and your co-parent
When you and your co-parent can’t resolve a disagreement about implementing your parenting plan, the coordinator can facilitate discussions. If those discussions don’t lead to solutions, they make a recommendation based on what they’ve learned.
If both parents agree, recommendations are generally put into place unless you file an objection with the court within the specified timeframe. All recommendations are documented in writing and sent to both parents simultaneously. However, either parent can file a motion objecting to any recommendation. You can also raise concerns by submitting a written complaint letter to the coordinator, who has 10 days to respond in writing.
While the goal is for your Parenting Coordinator to help reduce conflict and create workable solutions, you’re not locked into an unproductive situation. If the working relationship isn’t effective, you can request a different coordinator after following the complaint process.
How to choose the right Parenting Coordinator
Your coordinator is often heavily involved in your family’s daily decisions, so choosing the right person matters. When you’re interviewing potential coordinators, consider:
- ☑ Professional background that matches your needs. Some coordinators are family law attorneys who understand custody orders and court processes. Others are mental health professionals trained in family dynamics and child development. Consider whether your conflict centers on legal interpretation, communication, or emotional patterns.
- ☑ Required training and credentials. All registered coordinators in New Jersey have completed at least 40 hours of training, including instruction in high-conflict family dynamics, child development, domestic violence awareness, and cultural competency. Verify they’re licensed and in good standing in their profession.
- ☑ Communication style and approach. How do they prefer to communicate—by email, in scheduled meetings, or a mix? Do they typically meet with parents together or separately? What’s their philosophy on facilitating agreement versus making recommendations?
- ☑ Practical logistics. What’s their hourly rate? How often do they bill? Can they respond relatively quickly when time-sensitive issues come up?
If you’re not sure what to look for or how to evaluate potential coordinators, talking with your attorney before the interview process can help you ask better questions.
Speak with a New Jersey family law attorney about parenting coordination
At Jacobs Berger, we help clients evaluate whether a Parenting Coordinator would benefit their situation and work collaboratively with coordinators when appointed. We have extensive experience with custody modifications, enforcement support, and resources for families managing complex dynamics.
Contact our team to coordinate your strategy planning session. We’ll discuss your custody concerns, explore your options, and develop a tailored plan that focuses on your children’s well-being while protecting your rights as a parent.
