High-Conflict Divorce

What happens when disagreements prevent your divorce from making progress?

Persistent, ongoing disputes can lead to what is referred to as “high-conflict divorce,” which can raise a lot of questions for those going through it.

Struggling with these questions can leave you feeling like there aren’t any clear answers. The good news is that there are answers and solutions that can help you move forward.

At Jacobs Berger, our mission is to help clients facing difficult-to-resolve divorces. Our unique approach focuses on de-stressing its challenges while helping you stay focused on tomorrow.

High-Conflict Divorce Explained

High-conflict divorce doesn’t have a precise legal definition. Rather, it refers to a pattern of behavior and interaction between a divorcing couple.

Couples in the middle of these kinds of divorces typically have significant and prolonged disagreements about how to resolve one or more aspects of their divorce.

These conflicts can often be fueled by strong emotions, past resentments, and power struggles between the parties involved. As a result, it can lead to combative behaviors from one or both parties.

Common behaviors can include:

Refusing to compromise or negotiate
Making up legal or factual issues or intentionally creating delays (e.g., filing multiple applications or forcing document production which seemingly has no end)
Being unable to communicate in a productive manner

Factors that can contribute to a high-conflict divorce

Certain factors can influence the dynamic of a relationship, as well as how a divorce plays out. Understanding these factors can help you and your attorney develop the right legal strategy for your situation.

High-conflict personalities

According to social science research and personality experts, high-conflict personalities can display a range of negative behaviors. These include:

Blaming others
Refusal to compromise
All-or-nothing thinking
Unmanaged emotions
Extreme behaviors

During divorce, these traits can lead to prolonged legal battles, difficulty achieving desired outcomes, and emotional distress.

While not always, these behaviors can be associated with certain personality disorders, like narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Narcissistic personality disorders

Manipulation, lack of empathy, and desire for control—the same traits that make being married to a narcissistic spouse challenging can add complexity to the divorce process.

Common behaviors exhibited by individuals with NPD include:

Gaslighting
Financial abuse
False accusations
Delay tactics
Using children and loved ones to manipulate

Navigating an NPD divorce requires a nuanced strategy. It’s important to work with an experienced attorney who understands this personality disorder’s impact on the divorce process.

Mental illness and substance abuse in high-conflict divorce

Mental illness and substance abuse don’t necessarily result in a high-conflict divorce. Still, there are situations where they can exacerbate existing issues and lead to unpredictability and impaired decision-making during divorce.

In these situations, mediation can be a productive approach. While mediation does require both parties to compromise, trained mediators are experienced at lowering the volume of conversations and leading them toward realistic solutions.

Contact our team to coordinate your strategic planning session.

Common Issues Involved in High-Conflict Divorces in New Jersey

Some topics within divorce are often sources of conflict. While each divorcing couple is unique, there are a few areas that can act as flash points.

Child custody and child support

Issues relating to children in divorce can be among the most emotional and the most difficult to resolve. Parents experiencing this type of divorce often struggle over:

How child custody and parenting time will be divided
What a fair child support arrangement might look like
How to handle important aspects of raising your child, such as education, religion, or family relationships

Because issues dealing with child custody and child support are deeply felt by parents, your legal support is of the utmost importance.

At Jacobs Berger, we work closely with our clients. We prioritize listening and collaboration so we understand each client’s goals for parenting time and their wishes for their children so that we can best advocate for them.

Division of assets

How you divide your marital assets, from deciding who gets the home to dividing up retirement accounts, plays a big role in planning your future.

But in a high-conflict divorce, these issues can be weaponized, especially if there has been a history of financial abuse in a relationship. Financial abuse can add complexity to asset division, from uncovering hidden assets to seeking protective legal measures during the divorce.

It’s important to work with an attorney who has experience helping clients defend their rights at this time.

Division of assets can also be challenging if one or both couples have a high net worth and sizable assets to consider.

These situations may require forensic analysis and professional asset valuation, which can create more opportunities for disputes with parties who are already less than amicable.

Contact our team to coordinate your strategy planning session.

How Jacobs Berger Can Help De-Stress Your High-Conflict Divorce

At Jacobs Berger, we understand the challenges and complexities of these divorces. Our team of experienced family law attorneys is dedicated to helping clients de-stress difficult situations while taking a goal-oriented, future-focused approach to divorce resolution.

Identifying your goals

Divorces can be draining, and often, clients simply want to resolve matters so they can move on with their lives. However, setting goals is essential for achieving the best possible outcome.

At Jacobs Berger, we help clients identify what’s most important to them, even amidst the challenges of divorce.

We customize our approach to your specific situation. Our team makes sure you understand the costs and benefits of the options before you, both financially and emotionally, so you can make informed decisions that support your long-term and short-term goals.

Finding the right strategy

High-conflict divorces require unique legal strategies so that divisive issues can be resolved and you can remain future-focused. However, the right legal strategy is dependent on the facts of the situation.

In addition to the evidence and documentation provided, we look at:

What your goals are
Your relationship with your soon-to-be ex
Your financial situation
Whether children are involved
What the long-term consequences are of different approaches

Litigation vs. mediation

It’s a misconception that if issues in a divorce are difficult to resolve, the couple must battle them out in the courtroom.

This isn’t true. Even in hard-to-resolve divorces, mediation can resolve disputes by de-escalating tensions, preserving family relationships, and allowing matters to be addressed on a personalized timeline.

Mediation and litigation may also work together; resolving certain issues within your divorce may be more productively resolved with mediation, while litigation may be better suited for others.

Mediation may not be the right approach in cases of significant power imbalances, a history of abuse, or toxic personality disorders. At Jacobs Berger, we work closely with clients to determine which approach might best suit their circumstances.

Practical planning for divorce

High-conflict divorces can be overwhelming, but when you have realistic strategies for how to get through your divorce, it goes a long way towards de-stressing the process.

At Jacobs Berger, this is part of our mission. We help our clients with practical issues like:

Establishing boundaries to manage relationships
Identifying the best way to communicate
Creating realistic plans for financial matters
Planning for day-to-day concerns like parenting time

Schedule a Strategic Planning Session With a New Jersey High-Conflict Divorce Attorney

Our goal at Jacobs Berger is to help de-stress your divorce by providing you with the knowledge, support, and representation you need. We believe in finding amicable solutions when possible, but we will also vigorously advocate for your rights and protect your interests in court if necessary.