If you’re struggling in an emotionally abusive situation, you might not know where to turn or who you can trust. Tactics like gaslighting, intimidation, and isolation can make you question your reality or perceptions, while making it even harder to know how you can move forward.
Emotional abuse deeply affects a person’s sense of self and safety, and it can be just as damaging. For individuals struggling to navigate these situations, restraining order laws may offer protection. And if you’ve been falsely accused of emotional abuse, understanding these same laws can be crucial to protecting your rights.
What behaviors qualify as emotional abuse under New Jersey Law?
While emotional abuse isn’t listed by name in New Jersey’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act (PDVA), many of the behaviors that make up emotional abuse, like intimidation, harassment, or stalking, are recognized as predicate acts of domestic violence.
These behaviors may be grounds to ask the court for a temporary or final restraining order. Below are several categories of behavior that, especially when part of a repeated pattern, may meet the legal threshold for protection.
Stalking
Does an ex follow you to work or pop up at unexpected locations like a coffee date, a new yoga class, or while you’re out at drinks for a friend’s birthday? Maybe they’re behaving in a worrying manner, or maybe their presence simply has you on guard.
Situations like these may represent stalking. Stalking is a pattern of contact that would make a reasonable person feel threatened, intimidated, or emotionally distressed. It doesn’t have to involve physical violence.
And courts now recognize that stalking can take place entirely online. Cyberstalking can include (but isn’t limited to) scenarios like:
- Tracking someone’s whereabouts using GPS apps, fitness trackers, or shared device (location) data
- Dropping a location tracker (like an AirTag) into a person’s bag or car
- Creating fake social media profiles to bypass blocks and continue contact or surveillance
Harassment
Harassment is one of the most common bases for a restraining order in emotional abuse cases.
Whether it’s non-stop texts, repetitive late-night calls, or dozens of voicemails, harassment can encompass any behavior with the goal of irritating, frightening, or distressing you. If you’ve asked someone to leave you alone and they persist, you may have standing to pursue legal protection.
If you’re accused of harassment, understanding the legal definition and your rights is equally important—what might seem like normal communication to you could be perceived very differently by the recipient.
Harassment protections extend into social media, too; New Jersey was one of the first states to criminalize cyber harassment. Is an ex posting insulting TikToks that divulge lewd or personal details about your relationship? Tagging you with endless comments to get your attention?
These kinds of tactics can be enough for the court to grant a protective order.
New Jersey was also the first state to criminalize revenge porn, and courts continue to take the act very seriously. The law is purposefully broad, covering photos and videos, both fully and partially nude, and now, artificially generated fakes as well.
Recently, the New Jersey Governor signed a new law to criminalize deepfake pornography, or AI-produced content that can depict people in scenarios that never actually happened.
While these are serious crimes, revenge porn itself is not a specific predicate act under New Jersey’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act. However, when someone uses revenge porn or deepfake content against you within a protected relationship, it could be considered either cyber harassment or harassment, and both of these charges may be grounds for a restraining order.
Coercion
As of 2024, New Jersey officially recognizes coercive control as domestic violence. It describes a pattern of behavior that isolates, intimidates, or strips someone of autonomy.
This might include:
- Controlling access to money, medication, or social contact
- Making threats disguised as “concern”
- Using children as leverage in parenting disputes
Terroristic threats
Under New Jersey law, a terroristic threat involves threatening to commit any crime of violence with the purpose to terrorize another person, cause evacuation of a building or public space, or cause serious public inconvenience.
This might look like:
- “Answer my next phone call or I’ll kill you.”
- “If I can’t have the kids, nobody will.”
- “If you don’t come back to me, I’ll kill myself, and it’ll be your fault.”
Even threats that are framed as emotional manipulation, rather than direct violence, can qualify if they cause fear or disrupt your daily life. Judges consider the language, the relationship history, and the impact on your sense of safety.
Who is eligible for a restraining order?
If someone is trying to control how you move about your daily life, a restraining order can establish clear, legally enforceable boundaries that prohibit them from contacting you further.
To seek a restraining order for emotional abuse in New Jersey, you must meet the following conditions:
- Be 18 years of age or older (emancipated minors can also file for a restraining order).
- The abuser must be someone with whom you shared, what the law calls, a protected relationship. This includes current or ex-spouses, a close family member (child, parent, or sibling), roommates (whether they’re a friend, an in-law, or a co-tenant you met through Craigslist), or your child’s other parent.
For romantic relationships, there’s no legal definition of dating. The PDVA treats an OkCupid match you dated for a few months as seriously as an ex-husband or ex-wife. The appellate court has even upheld restraining orders issued against online partners who exclusively communicated online over several years, yet never met in person.
- In New Jersey, there isn’t a specific time frame for when the abuse must have occurred. That said, in emotional abuse cases, there isn’t always a single obvious incident. Judges will consider ongoing, repeated, or escalating behavior. They’ll look for an ongoing pattern that warrants further protection.
Keep in mind that patterns of harassment can show up in many ways. For example, you had one drink with an old co-worker. They offered to take you out again, but you turned them down. Now, they’re texting constant happy hour invites, and every week, they turn up, out of the blue, at your local haunt.
This kind of behavior can be distressing, but it generally doesn’t qualify as the protected relationship needed for a PDVA restraining order. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to endure unwanted contact. Consulting with a domestic violence attorney can give you insight into your options, such as filing a criminal complaint or pursuing a different legal avenue called a no-contact order.
It should be acknowledged that restraining order allegations can have serious consequences for the accused, including impacts on employment, housing, and parental rights. It’s important to seek out experienced legal representation to navigate these complex situations.
| Three quick answers to common restraining order FAQs 1. What if my abuser lives out of state? To get a restraining order in New Jersey, the abuser must live in the state or have significant ties to it. Maybe they visit close family here, or have a job that sends them across the tristate area, marking New Jersey as one of their frequent landing spots. 2. Will I have to appear in court every year to re-up my restraining order? No. A final restraining order is permanent in New Jersey. That means you’ll never need to file any further paperwork or appear in court to maintain its enforcement. However, it is subject to appeal when granted, and potentially, the perpetrator can make an application in the future to have the FRO dissolved. For those subject to a restraining order, it’s important to know that while FROs are permanent, they can be challenged or modified under certain circumstances with proper legal representation. 3. I am moving to California. Will my New Jersey restraining order apply? Yes. Under federal law, every state must accept the terms of another state’s restraining order. You may need to take specific legal action in the state you move to; however, in order for that state to be in a position to enforce the NJ order. |
How an experienced New Jersey restraining order attorney can help
Remember, even a series of innocuous behaviors can devolve into something more dangerous. Although a single surprise encounter may not warrant a restraining order on emotional grounds, it’s still a good idea to document these instances. Just as importantly, contact an experienced domestic violence attorney.
An attorney can help you:
- Determine whether your experiences meet the legal criteria for a restraining order
- Gather and organize documentation of the abuse, including texts, voicemails, or social media activity
- Prepare your testimony and guide you through what to expect in court
- Advocate for you in hearings, especially when the other party tries to minimize or deflect responsibility
- Help you understand and enforce the terms of your final restraining order if it’s granted
Don’t leave a potentially threatening situation up to chance. Abuse can make you feel silent, but we can help articulate your unique situation in court so you can find space to heal. Similarly, if you’re facing emotional abuse allegations, don’t navigate the legal system alone. These cases require a careful approach to ensure your rights are protected.
