We’ve grown used to getting things quickly. With same-day deliveries and binge-worthy series available at the tap of a screen, our expectations for speed have shifted, sometimes in ways that don’t translate well to legal processes.
Divorce is one process that doesn’t translate well to an “immediate results” mindset. Despite the cultural shorthand of a “quickie divorce,” the reality of legally dissolving a marriage can be complex and often requires more time and attention than people anticipate.
Debunking the quickie divorce myth
In reality, a “quickie divorce” isn’t a thing. Even in the most amicable divorces, the legal system requires a baseline level of structure, disclosure, and review before finalizing an agreement.
In New Jersey, that involves processes like:
- Filing the Complaint for Divorce: This step formalizes the divorce process with the New Jersey courts. Some couples file early in the process while others negotiate their entire settlement first and file as the final step. There’s no mandatory waiting period after filing, but at least one spouse must have lived in NJ for 12 months (with some exceptions for fault-based cases).
- Service and response: The other spouse must be formally served and has 35 days to respond or file a counterclaim.
- Case Management Conference (CMC): Often scheduled shortly after the response is filed, the CMC sets deadlines and ensures the case is on track.
- Discovery phase: Parties exchange financial and other relevant information. This can last 90 to 120 days or longer, depending on complexity.
- Early Settlement Panel (ESP):. A panel of attorneys offers recommendations to help resolve outstanding issues. If both parties agree, the divorce can proceed to final judgment quickly.
- Economic and custody mediation: If ESP doesn’t resolve all disputes resulting in an executed Agreement, the court mandates additional mediation focused on the outstanding issues. For cases with custody and parenting time issues, questions, parties must first participate in a Parent Education program for divorcing parents. If custody concerns aren’t resolved, then they have to attend custody mediation with a qualified mediator through the courthouse.
- Intensive Settlement Conference (ISC): A final opportunity to resolve issues before trial.
- Trial (if needed): Only a small percentage of cases go to trial. Depending on the court’s schedule, this can delay resolution by several additional months, but can amount to years depending on the backlog in the Court system.
These processes may deviate based on complexity and whether parties reach an agreement earlier. While some divorces move more efficiently than others, speed is typically the result of preparation and communication, not shortcuts or glossing over issues and details.
Factors that may impact the length of your divorce
While this timeline outlines the general structure, how long your divorce takes depends on a few additional variables. Some of them are within your control, and some less so.
Court backlog and scheduling delays
Let’s start with something outside of your control: the court system. Even when both parties are prepared, your case is still subject to the court’s calendar.
Your case must move through a court system with limited resources and competing priorities. Scheduling delays, especially for Early Settlement Panels, mediations, or final hearings, can expand timelines even when both parties cooperate. This is particularly true in high-volume counties or around holiday court calendars.
While frustrating, these delays are often administrative, not personal. To minimize delays, it’s helpful to stay flexible and coordinate promptly with your attorney.
Missing documents or incomplete filings
Divorce involves a lot of paperwork, but for good reason: it helps create transparency and ensures the fairest possible outcome.
That’s why progress can quickly stall when documents are late, incomplete, or inconsistent, especially during discovery. Case Information Statements, in particular, need to be thorough and accurate. A few missing line items or vague estimates can trigger requests for clarification and delay scheduling. They can also create unnecessary tension between parties.
Communication breakdowns and emotional obstacles
Some divorces drag on not because of legal complexity, but because personal dynamics make even small decisions hard to resolve. One parent won’t sign off on a holiday schedule. A spouse refuses to disclose a Venmo history. These aren’t legal impasses, but they can become legal delays in the form of contested issues.
Common issues that prolong contested divorces
If your divorce is contested, meaning you and your spouse can’t agree on one or more key issues, here are the areas most likely to create delays—and how to move through them more efficiently.
| Type of dispute | What it means | How you can speed it up |
| Division of assets and debts | Disagreements on who gets what, like homes, retirement accounts, and jointly owned businesses. | Submit financial documents in a timely fashion, agree on appraisers, valuations, and prioritize fair outcomes over “winning.” |
| Child custody and parenting time | Conflicting views on “what’s best for the kids” can become emotional and time-consuming. | Work together to create a child-focused parenting plan—possibly with the help of a mediator—but with enough details to be durable over a period of time. |
| Child support | While child support in New Jersey follows state guidelines, many factors are subject to discussion, such as income reporting, parenting time credits, or expenses outside the guidelines. | Provide complete, accurate income documentation. Clarify shared expenses early. Work with your attorney to address support alongside custody planning. |
| Alimony or spousal support | One spouse asks for financial support, and the other resists. | Host open conversations about financial needs and future goals. Provide accurate financial disclosures. |
| Disagreements on terms of prenuptial agreements | If a prenup is challenged during a divorce, courts need to rule on its enforceability. | Respect any existing agreements but address concerns and disputes through proper legal channels. |
How your approach to divorce can impact your timeline
How you and your former partner handle your divorce—litigation, mediation, or a hybrid—is another factor that impacts your timeline.
Litigation tends to take longer, especially if issues remain contested through discovery, ESP, or trial. Mediation can move more quickly by reducing court involvement and encouraging early resolution, though it still requires full financial disclosure and legal review.
Choosing the right path depends on your goals, conflict level, and ability to work with your spouse to resolve key issues efficiently.
The role of your attorney
Not all delays are caused by the court or the other side. Sometimes, divorce drags because of an attorney’s approach.
If your attorney misses deadlines, is uncommunicative, or builds an unclear strategy, it can extend the process unnecessarily. Conversely, a well-managed case—with timely submissions, focused negotiations, and a clear plan—can avoid common slowdowns and keep your divorce from veering off course. (A well-managed case can also go a long way towards de-stressing your divorce.)
Get personalized support throughout your divorce
It is important to discuss with an attorney the many options regarding different grounds for divorce and their restrictions on your case, including timing.
It is also important to consider, plan, and discuss with an attorney your expectations as to how long the process will take so your attorney can plan accordingly and adjust your expectations, if necessary.
Contact our team to coordinate your strategy planning session.
